Please, please, please, PLEASE, help me fucking ESCAPE.

I swear, with each fucking day that goes by, my blithering imbecile folks are getting more and more idiotic and more and more infantile and more and more impressionable.

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Atlus, my friends, you really need to exercise better judgment in choosing community voluntaries to represent you.

Everybody knows that since Atlus took over management of Shin Megami Tensei Imagine, they’ve been working their asses off to more or less “live up to the (preconceived) ideals” that had been formed and set up during the tenure of the game with Aeria. As such, one of the things that many people (grudgingly, myself included) were hoping that Atlus would do right was the Game Sage program. In theory, the community concept of these is a number of volunteer players “representing” the managing company (previously Aeria, now Atlus), with the primary mission of being an intermediary between the Game Masters and the playerbase, as well as being available to help out players that need a hand with anything. (Secondary roles include organizing events and so on, but that’s irrelevant to the point of this post.) For reasons I shall not discuss here nor will consent anyone discussing in the comments with the threat of deleting any post that does, Atlus decided they wouldn’t be named Sages, but went for the completely ridiculous “Buddy-Buds”. How the bloody ever-loving fuck you can take that fucking name seriously is way, WAY beyond me, but I digress.

For the most part, I am surprisingly okay with most of the list of people currently chosen as Sages (I refuse on principle calling them what Atlus calls them, mainly on the grounds of how ridiculous it is).

However, as with everything in the universe, where the wise dwell, the idiots creep up.

[Read More…]

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Horrible, horrible couple of days.

Lots of stuff going on with my life, not all of it pleasant.

On the bad side:

I guess the most painful event was hitting my testicles with an electrical cable that snapped like a whip due to an unexpectedly forceful pull from the person at the other end of the line (and yes, it fucking hurt like fucking bloody fuck… fuck — no amount of expletives can express the pain I suffered or could quench my thirst for unleashing them upon the world when I was doubled down on the floor, reeling from the unexpected attack to my anatomy).

On a slightly unrelated note, the most irking thing that’s happened these past few days was that for whatever reason, after I installed MegaManX8 and Resident Evil 4 again on my laptop, Resident Evil 5 and Street Fighter 4 decided to not work anymore, so had to uninstall them both and right now I’m having Steam download/install both again. Fuck.

On the good side, however, there HAVE been a few beacons of light amongst the shadows here and there:

The first would be the fact that apparently, I unconsciously stepped up my Super Street Fighter 4 Arcade Edition game and was able to stand my ground as Ken against a RIDICULOUSLY good, international-tournament-level Akuma. Knowing that I was able to make life difficult for a dude that goes hand in hand with some of the best players around the world makes me feel incredibly pleased with myself.

And secondly, this…

-Has withdrawn from any social activity on the forums, you will only see me participate in events-

…finally happened on Atlus’ forums from this user.

Yay for having one less idiot spewing shit in the community forums! =D

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This is further proof of what I’ve always said: Apple people are generally pricks, and Apple users are generally imbeciles.

Via Seattle Rex:

A few years ago, Apple sold me a $4,000 computer with a defective graphics chip/logic board. The defective part was the Nvidia 8600M GT GPU, and when it was discovered that the machine was defective, Apple refused to take it back and issue me a refund. Instead, they promised to replace the 8600M GT boards when they failed, up to 4 years from the date of purchase.

Three years later, the board failed, and predictably, Apple refused to replace it. Instead, they used the fact that the machine wouldn’t boot (due to the failed logic board) to deny the repair. Not only that, but in addition, they tried to charge me a hefty sum of money to have it replaced, knowing full well that Nvidia pays for the full repair cost.

[…]

Three and a half months ago, after having my repair denied, I announced on this very site that I was going to sue Apple. Reading these lawsuit threats often, many people assumed that I was bluffing or blowing off steam, but true to my word, I did exactly what I said I was going to do. I sued Apple. […]

Fun fact? The guy

WON.

[Read More…]

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Retarded? Retarded.

Retarded? Retarded.
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Someone kidnap me and take me halfway across the world, as far as humanly possible from where I currently am. Please.

This is probably going to go more in-depth into my personal life than anything else I’ve posted here, but I’m going to risk it for the sake of venting.

[Read More…]

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As much as I love my profession, sometimes I wish I had made a career out of something NOT EVEN REMOTELY RELATED to computers.

Why? Because echoing this post, for my parents I am the go-to dude to solve ANYTHING FUCKING REMOTELY RELATED TO COMPUTERS, even if it’s something so fucking simple that a fucking DONKEY can do it while fucking blinded. And I am absolutely not in the slightest fucking bit interested in doing ANYTHING for them, because they’re the kind of people that go “don’t teach me, just fucking do it” and when they fuck it all up “I didn’t do anything”.

I want to move to fucking Australia, as far the fuck away as I possibly can.

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Dilbert has the right idea.

A random commenter brings us a particular Dilbert strip with which I feel deeply in agreement.

There's no kill switch on awesome.
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Fuck you sideways with a chainsaw on a street pole, Kyle Whatever.

Fuck you.

Via reddit:

Fuck this guy.
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Kiss my fucking ass, “maturity” advocates.

I don't understand how [cosplay] is considered immature, but [drinking mindlessly at so-called 'parties'] is perfectly normal. If you need DRUGS and ALCOHOL to 'have a good time' you need to GROW THE FUCK UP.
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MegaUpload has been taken down.

All because the MPAA and the RIAA decided to accuse it of piracy.

Next thing you know, RapidShare, MediaFire and the rest of the online locker sites will be taken down with the same bullshit claim.
 
 
 
All because of something I said before: the MPAA and the RIAA are fucking AFRAID of the fact that with the internet, they no longer have sole and unique control over creative content, and that they no longer will be able to monopolize the entire business of intellectual property by ENSLAVING the actual content creators.
 
 
 
 
 
 
This is what it’s like BEFORE SOPA and PIPA. Imagine what it’ll be like AFTER them.

US residents, call your legislators NOW. This NEEDS to stop.

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“Because China.”

I’ve never read something this fucking hilarious in YEARS about China, so I HAD to share.

Via reddit (edited a bit for readability; contents remain the same):

“Because China” is the only way to put it.

Last week I was in an elevator at 3pm with some nice people, patiently going downwards, stopping at every other floor for no reason because when most people in Guiyang want to call an elevator they hit both up and down regardless of which way they want to go (because China). Then the elevator suddenly dropped a foot or so (felt like way farther, but couldn’t have been more than that), then shot to the 26th floor, then shot down to floor 1. We exited, confused and frightened, and a nice repairman explained that he assumed it was empty and was just about to do some repairs. Why would he assume that? Because China.

I went to a Pizza Hut with some friends a few days ago. (The Pizza Hut in Guiyang is one of the nicest restaurants in the city, partially because Chinese Pizza Huts are really nice places, and partially because Guiyang is a wasteland, which I say in an endearing way.) We ask if we can get a large pizza that’s half one thing and half another. Nope, they don’t do that. Okay, sure. We ordered a large pizza. Nope, they’re out of large pizzas. Okay, that actually doesn’t make any sense, but sure, we’ll take a medium vegetable garden and a medium pepperoni, and a pitcher of pepsi. We can’t give you a pizza with only pepperoni on it. Bullshit, yes, you can. Nope. Okay, whatever, not in the mood, give me the meat pizza. We get a small cup of pepsi and a medium pizza, half of which is vegetable garden and half of which is meat. I check the receipt. The receipt reflects what we ordered, both in English and Chinese. The waitress is at a loss to explain the theoretically impossible and utterly incorrect pizza. Why did they serve us that? Because China. (The previous time we went, we were served seven identical pizzas, having ordered three and paid for three, again because China.)

In the last month, I have been asked by different cab drivers,
(1) how much whores are in America,
(2) whether military service is compulsory in America,
(3) if my parents are upset that I am 26 and unmarried, and
(4) if I’ve got a big dick, or maybe if we (Americans) have big dicks, I’m not sure.

But why do they think these are good questions to ask a guy who is trying to get to work? Because China.

A couple weeks ago, in the middle of the road I saw a twenty-five-foot-or-so ladder, being held upright by two men. It was unsupported by anything else. At the top was another man, working on a power line, with nothing to brace him, bolster him, or hold him but the ladder being held by two dudes. Cars were swerving all around them. Nobody found this exceptional. Because, again, China.

It’s not a land in which the foreigner suffers. It is not a hostile land or a wild land. It is, rather, a land of pointless minor absurdities and wholly unnecessary inconveniences, which coalesce to infuriate the ill-tempered and delight the rest. When I first arrived, I was informed by a nice older gentleman, “[FIRSTNAME], do not ever ask ‘why’ here. You can ask yourself any other question, and the answers will enlighten you. But do not ask ‘why,’ because here, there is no ‘why.’” And he was right. The answer — the only answer — to “why” is “because China.”

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WTF is SOPA? WTF is PROTECT IP? I’ll tell you what they are: A restriction of liberties for EVERYONE IN THE DAMN WORLD, due to the almost monopolistic control of the internet held by the US.

I highly suggest you watch and pay close attention to BOTH videos. You’ll learn a thing or two.

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I’m not even a resident of the US…

…and I consider SOPA (”Stop Online Piracy” Act) the

MOST RETARDED THING THE UNITED STATES HAS COME UP WITH IN THE LAST TEN YEARS.

Giving so-called “copyright holders” basically the legal and constitutional ability to essentially fucking CENSOR THE MOTHERFUCKING INTERNET at their whim and leisure?

No thanks, I’m not as much of an idiot as Hollywood’s money would have the US congress believe.

And yes, I used lowercase for the word congress. Their current stupidity/abuse of power/profiteering doesn’t merit my using a capital initial to refer to them.

Thus, my website header is now censored and will remain so until a decision about SOPA is reached. The hearing will reconvene next Wednesday and NOT in 2012 as their dirty tactics would have had us believe initially. So those of you who live in the US, find the phone number of your representative’s office and KEEP CALLING THEM.

Do your bit. Contact your state representative.

 
 
 
 

HELP STOP SOPA NOW.

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Oh god. I haven’t laughed so hard at this much sheer immaturity and/or idiocy in a long, long time.

First, read this thread.

Next, read this “blog” post by the same user as the thread.

And now, keep reading for my reply. [Read More…]

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Jesus Christ. I’ve been gone for three months and this kind of idiocy is STILL running rampant?

Do you really think yourself such a great troll? When you consider that you always try to get in my conversations, that you absolutely FAIL at internet trolling, and despite the fact that I openly ignore you, you ALWAYS fail at attempting to blend in, plus the fact that you spew so much shit out of that hole in your face you call a mouth that I have no idea how you can still speak with all the shit dribbling on your chin, I frankly don’t understand how ANYONE still takes you seriously.

You know BULLSHIT about this game. All you know you didn’t even learn; you’ve COPIED from others. I don’t even think you properly know how damage works. All you are is the same kind of imbecile that proliferated when spirit infusion made it to Aeria’s servers: A PVP-obsessed Megi-spamming idiot. I’ve actually been wondering why this hasn’t been made an official build on the Aeria forums, and I’m surprised you haven’t been made a GS yet. You would fit so well with other braindead coprophagic Aeria drones like Dojan, Kalaydo and the like.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
…Phew. Venting over.

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Don’t read this.

It’s useless for you to read these lines. If you appreciate your own time at all, stop reading now.

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Oh yes, the so-called “computer illiterate people”. Fucking bane of my fucking existence.

So via reddit I found a wonderful question in Ask Reddit:

What’s the most enraging thing a computer illiterate person has said to you when you were just trying to help?

In the immortal words of reddit user zyamada:

Too many people don’t realize that being a [Computer Science] major/having a degree in [Computer Science] != being good with computers.

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A couple of important things just happened these past few days.

And as much as I’d like to name them all in an orderly fashion just in here, you’re gonna have to hit the jump to read about everything. By the way, Aeria decided they really don’t want me back, even in spite of all the stuff I’ve gathered as evidence in my defense and all the stuff I can DO FOR THEM. Oh well, their loss. It’s just a pity that all my pimped out shit won’t get any more use, by me or anyone else.

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ROFL, what sort of scamtastic scheme will Aeria think of next?

Because this is a TOTALLY legit and fair lottery, ain’t it?

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