On the subject of the so-called “friendzone”…

Today, via reddit, I stumbled upon a blog post of a young woman I don’t know on the subject of the friendzone, and being placed there.

There’s already too much toxicity on the subject, so I’m not going to specifically comment on anything she said, nor on the comments in the reddit thread. I do however, want to echo (to a certain extent) something I read among the aforementioned reddit comments.

You keep hearing whining and complaints about the supposedly “nice guys” that turn out to be pricks who show their true nature after they get bounced. What happens to those of us who swallow our feelings, who fuck ourselves up inside beneath a fake smile just so we don’t upset you, and digest a burning dagger to the heart with each word of rejection? What happens to those of us who get unfairly labeled as assholes because our hearts can’t take being so near, and yet so inhumanly, unbelievably, unsurmountably far? What happens to us who die a little bit inside when we see you with someone else, and yet are willing to kill our souls just a little bit more every time by befriending them just to help make you happy and see you happy in any way we can?

This is not intended to be a jab at either men or women. I don’t want to instill more venom on an already poisonous subject like this is. I just wanted to point out that for every “nice guy” asshole that takes “revenge” for being friendzoned, there’s nine or ten genuinely nice guys out there suffering each and every second, sacrificing their own well-being and their own peace of heart for that one person they’d rather see happy instead of themselves. Because in most cases, these genuinely nice guys want to be happy with someone, but if that someone’s happiness lies elsewhere, they will sacrifice their own shot at happiness without the slightest hesitation and give it to the one they care about.



Last Edited on: 2015/03/03 08:45:39 GMT-4

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  1. Tifa

    Tuesday, March 31, 2015 - 18:48:19

    Ignoring that comment above me, which is obviously some weird spambot message, I have to say something about this topic. If there’s something I dislike about this “friendzoning” thing (which honestly seems a whole madeup shit), is only the guys who care and befriend a woman only to get a date or a sex night. I dislike the guys who seem to think that only for spoiling a girl and giving her gifts or being “their best friend” automatically means the girl MUST sleep with them or date them. It’s like.. there’s no way a man can just be nice with a girl just for, you know, REAL friendship? Why must it always be “for sex” or “for love” and it can’t be friendship? I’m talking about that kind of people, I don’t mean ALL men by the way. I, for one, can genuinely be friends with a guy and NOT want to date them nor sleep with them (and it’s not because they’re ugly… I honestly have more than one male friend who is damn handsome, but I still see them as good friends) and I still do a lot for them, care for them, stay sleepless nights just talking to them if they have any problems.
    I know you’re talking about other situation, Shiki, but I also have to give the other side of the coin’s view. Would those so-called “friendzoned” guys prefer to be lied to and cheated on, instead of having the girl be honest and tell them they just do not feel the same way? I thought honesty was what so many people prefers, rather than illusions and lies. And while I’m aware of many guys who aren’t assholes, and have to swallow up their feelings and sacrifice their happiness as long as their loved one is happy too… I do disagree with the term “friendzone”. It implies that being a friend is a bad thing, as if a guy who is friends with a girl means he’s just a rejected loser. Is that really how men see things? Is it really a bad thing for a guy to be friends with a woman?
    Many things I said may apply to both men and women on either side, but… women rarely complain about “being friendzoned”. women tend to take rejection in different ways.

  2. Haha

    Thursday, October 27, 2016 - 21:10:56

    This is just another ranting of a male nerd otaku weeaboo complaining about girls not wanting to have sex with him just after all of the “niceness” he has shown. If you think being rejected in awful, imagine how it must feel realizing your friend is just your friend because he wants to fuck you and nothing else. As if sex is a reward women should give to this kind of men ranting here, ladies and gentlemen, for being treated nice. Because of course women are a subtype of human beings (wait, are they even human beings?) and, therefore, they have to be treated as inferiors, and the only reason why someone (a man) should be nice to them is if they can provide something in return (sex). Therefore, it’s their (the women) obligation to give their vaginas or assholes to these men because they’re doing too much of a favor treating them like, you know, humans, otherwise they’re just hurting the poor guy’s feelings unjustifiably. Nothing too unexpected, considering this is the blog of an anime addict fuck who limits his interactions to online dating because of the regular reasons: real life rejections and all. You have always been a fuck, Fernando, but this is truly a new level of jackassery. Keep it up.

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