Five things that WILL piss off a programmer

I’ve seen a bunch of compilations like these on various places in the web, but I’m listing these from personal experience. In no particular order:

  1. Getting asked by everyone and their bloody mother to fix their computers. This is by far, I think, the absolute worst of them all. Just the mere fact that I have a degree in ANYTHING related to computers doesn’t make me the family technician, assholes. Even more so considering that my degree is in SOFTWARE ENGINEERING (aka knowing how to program efficiently and effectively), not computer repair. (This is, more often than not, not just limited to hardware, but also virus-cleaning, installing updates, and ridding the computer of all the fucking porn you unwittingly stuck in the system because you didn’t heed our fucking warning NOT to use Internet Explorer.) To add insult to injury, it usually has to be done for free, quickly, efficiently and with extremely detailed explanations, because if there’s one thing these pricks do well, it’s being fussy and overly demanding.
  2. Incomplete error reports. For fucking Zeus’s sake, telling me that you found an error and telling me nothing is the exact same bleeding thing at all if you don’t tell me WHAT THE ERROR MESSAGE WAS. Apparently, the fact that I know how to program also makes me somehow capable of divining absolutely any and all errors, the exact cause, the circumstances of when it was triggered, and everything related to it just by you telling me that you got an error. Never fucking mind that a single software can crash in a myriad of ways with sometimes TENS OF THOUSANDS of error messages, or that due to hardware/software configuration it might be an error that only happens to you, or any of that shit. “I got an error, you have to solve it!” “But what kind of error did you get?” “I don’t know, I just know I got an error!” is way too common a conversation for my personal tastes.
  3. Users ignoring app documentation. Apparently, for the users, the Instruction Manual and Help documents are just there to occupy space and look pretty. And hence, the gods saw fit to grant unto us developers and unto sysadmins as well one of the most useful acronyms for when a (l)user asks a stupid question that’s already answered clearly in the documentation: RTFM. (Which translates to Read The FUCKING Manual — and yes, that fucking goes to YOU as well.)
  4. Deadlines (especially ones NOT set by us). Once I’ve agreed to develop an application or any other piece of software for you, it’s understandable that you may want to know when you can get your finished product. But when you hire me to develop something for you which YOU will be delivering to a third party, setting deadlines arbitrarily without consulting ME is a surefire way to get me pissed and look for ANY way to use the legal system against you so I can fuck you sideways with your project and GTFO. In case you didn’t notice, I don’t fucking give a flying rat’s ass about who you or the actual clients are, or what your relationship is with them, or anything of the sort. I want to do my fucking job, get paid, and go home. But when you start telling the client that the product will be ready by a given date where I am 100% sure that it will NOT be, that’s when I start actually getting morose and actively attempt to make YOU look bad in front of your client. Preferably, in ideal cases, also having side conversations with said client explaining the ACTUAL situation and circumstances of the product.
  5. Unexpected bugs and errors after code freeze and when porting code to production. This one pisses me off to no end. You make sure your code is as clean as you can, you make an actual inhuman effort to make sure everything is working, you document all possible exceptions and error situations, and write code to make sure your software fails gracefully if an error comes up; you build your error library with error codes, descriptive messages, and make absolutely freaking 100% SURE everything works… And the moment you move your stuff to the production environment, EVERYTHING starts to blow up here or there. Cue an insatiable, irresistible desire to rip your hair out of your scalp with your bare hands.

Sigh. Such is the life of a code monkey.

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Penny Arcade put it best: “My GOD.”

Super Mario Kart is old enough to drink.

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So, Scarlet Blade Online…

Dat nipple...

Dat nipple~

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In Flemington, NJ now for a few days…

Trying to decide how best to put some level of meaning, order and sense to my piece of shit life…

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Bani Invasion. Resistance is futile, be assimilated or be terminated.

Banibanibanibanibani...
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Holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit.

My day just got fixed after seeing ONE page from a certain manga.
 
 
 
 
 
 
After FUCKING SEVENTY-ONE CHAPTERS, he FINALLY got the fucking guts to kiss her. =D

Go Shouta, I knew you had it in you! XD

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Sigh.

It’s August 17th already and STILL no fucking Skullgirls on Steam.

Sigh.

On the other hand, the international Imagine is getting the legitimate Kappa content update with the Virtual Beach, and I have a retardedly and ridiculously hot long-distance girlfriend. Who, eventually, I plan on making my actual girlfriend. (As soon as either of us can move to the other’s country or somewhere else entirely…)
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
You win some you lose some, I guess.

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Woooohooooo!!!! (Part 3)

About fucking time.

10 COMP slots. And all three LNC plugins in the same character.

Fuck yeah.

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Horrible, horrible couple of days.

Lots of stuff going on with my life, not all of it pleasant.

On the bad side:

I guess the most painful event was hitting my testicles with an electrical cable that snapped like a whip due to an unexpectedly forceful pull from the person at the other end of the line (and yes, it fucking hurt like fucking bloody fuck… fuck — no amount of expletives can express the pain I suffered or could quench my thirst for unleashing them upon the world when I was doubled down on the floor, reeling from the unexpected attack to my anatomy).

On a slightly unrelated note, the most irking thing that’s happened these past few days was that for whatever reason, after I installed MegaManX8 and Resident Evil 4 again on my laptop, Resident Evil 5 and Street Fighter 4 decided to not work anymore, so had to uninstall them both and right now I’m having Steam download/install both again. Fuck.

On the good side, however, there HAVE been a few beacons of light amongst the shadows here and there:

The first would be the fact that apparently, I unconsciously stepped up my Super Street Fighter 4 Arcade Edition game and was able to stand my ground as Ken against a RIDICULOUSLY good, international-tournament-level Akuma. Knowing that I was able to make life difficult for a dude that goes hand in hand with some of the best players around the world makes me feel incredibly pleased with myself.

And secondly, this…

-Has withdrawn from any social activity on the forums, you will only see me participate in events-

…finally happened on Atlus’ forums from this user.

Yay for having one less idiot spewing shit in the community forums! =D

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Hakuna Matata, baby~!

Allow me to play you the song of my people... It is called ''Death rains from a bow''.
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